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Ode to a student.
17 July 2011 @ 08:56 pm
I know, it has taken me almost a month to post this. In the last few days of June me and my friend Jenny went on a mini adventure to London to go to the Doctor Who Experience.

The day started at about 8am when we had to get up and ready to go catch the train, its not early for some, but its bloody early for me!! After we were all dressed we went to the trainstation to catch the train to London Euston, who knew that two hours could go so slowly! When we were on the train me and Jenny were discussing how if we had time and depending how far away King's Cross Station was, whether we could go to see Platform 9 1/2. Arriving at London Euston we discovered that King's Cross Station was a mere station away on the underground, so we took the little detour we discussed, we were buzzing. Harry Potter and Doctor Who in one day! After our little detour we were back on track to get to the Olympia Stadium and to the Doctor Who Experience, however things weren't going to go to plan. We needed to get to Earl's Court, but by the time we got to Gloucester street the tube announced that it would have a detour due to an incident at Earl's Court. After about 5 minutes of panicing from me and Jenny, and a phone call to Andrew later, we had directions to get to Andrew, and from there catch the overground to the Olympia Stadium. ofcourse, with it being England, It had to start raining the minute we got to the Olympia Stadium, so we got into the Doctor Who Experience looking like drowned rats! The experience itself was amazing though, we went on Starship UK, then went on to fly the T.A.R.D.I.S. and after that they had a little storyline with the Daleks followed by walking through the forrest of angels (I almost died there, the weeping angels scare me the most so I ended up clinging to Jenny and almost in tears!) After that there was like a little musuem bit, with some of the aliens featured in Doctor Who, such as the Cybermen, Daleks, the Face of Boe and many more, and also featured the costumes of all the Doctor's except for the 11th's ofcourse, as that one was still being worn, and also had the costumes of all the companions! I was so amazed, firstly by the sheer size of Alex Kingstons boobs judging by the boob allowence in her costume, and also bye how thin David Tennant must be! We had losts of fun in the museum area, getting tonnes of pictures and also bantering with the staff. After we had plans of going to try and meet Arthur Darvill at the globe, although when he got to the Globe he just ignored us, and choose to prolong a conversation he was having on the phone. HOW RUDE! although he could have had his reasons, such as the strange guy who was also looking out for him. either way, it was a fantastic day and by the time we got home we were both very tired!

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Ode to a student.
15 July 2011 @ 03:28 pm
I finally arrived in Portugal. I had so much excitement for this, from buying new clothes to getting on the plane, ofcourse the clothes were the best part out of the two. ;)

My day began on the 14th of uly, still packing the remaining things in the suitcase to get ready to go, ofcourse that couldn't go all to plan could it, because while packing my clothes the weights broke, so I couldn't measure the weight of my suitcase easily, either way it still weighed under the amount I am allowed, but only just! There's going to be problems when I come back! Oh god! Anyway after I was all packed me, my mum, and my dad put the suitcases in the car and set off to livepool airport, I was getting so nervous in the car, I've never flown on my own before! When we got the airport it really started to sink in, especially after I dropped my bag off to go to the plane and I was waiting with my parents at the entrance to the departures lounge (Only passengers were allowed past) I didn't want to leave, I was getting so scared, but I picked up the courage and said goodbye and started walking off to the departures lounge. I could feel my stomach churning with fear of getting on the wrong plane and stuff, and getting lost, or even missing my plane because I had no way to get in contact with my parents as I left my phone behind to avoid temptation and running up a huge phone bill! I was getting really nervous when the two flights before mine changed to cancelled. I was so very worried but then my flight changed to say to go to the gate to board the plane. The nerves eased as I got on the plane, but I was sat next to a baby uinfortunately, and we all know what that means! the flight went so quickly, but I was engaged with my magazine and music, so its no surprise! but in the last half hour, as I predicted before the baby started, not crying, but full on wailing! I had to resist slapping it because it was so noisy and annoying. I tried to stay calm, I couldn't be more happier when the plane landed because I got to get away from the crying baby! I met up with Benni in the airport, and we got a lift to Baba's (her aunt's) house, although that wouldn't go smoothly because the car broke down! luckily it wasn't too far away from Baba's house, only around the corner! I hope this holiday doesn't go quickly, but I have a feeling it will!
Current Location: Portugal, Porto
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Ode to a student.
10 July 2011 @ 06:34 pm
I've been home from University for possibly 2 weeks and so far all I've had is insult after insult after insult. The first thing I had when I got home was my mother calling me fat, saying how much weight i've put on (which is only about 5lbs) and how bad it looks and how much she can tell I've put on weight to the extent she's made me paranoid about my appearence. Its as if she gets off on dragging my self esteem down to rock bottom, with everything else going down with it. I don't feel confident at all now, with how I look, my appearence. I don't look in the mirror, when I look down at my self I feel disgusted, I don't know, but I feel like I am one of those obese people from tv, the ones that just stay in bed all day because they're to fat to move and I don't like it. I have been home 2 weeks and barely eaten anything due to this, I am undeserving of food. INfact the most consecutive meals I've had was when I was at my friends house for 3 days and that's because they had given me food, I could hardly not eat it when they provided it me. The stupid thing is, I came home from uni early (I finished my exams and we had about a month of our accomodation left afterwards) due to the fact the canteen food was so bad that I wasn't eating anything, so I begged my parents to come home so I could have some decent meals, eat edible food... but then that hasn't happened. It just makes me so sad, like I don't belong to the family. Like I have no purpose.
          The other thing is, they're not exactly making me feel welcome, infact if anything my family at home are trying to push me out. I've been sat in the living room and a cup of tea has been offered to everyone except me, like I don't exist, like I'm not even there! I feel alone, unloved, and like I don't belong. Like no one wants me there or even likes me. I feel alone in the world. My family, yet again dragging my esteem down with everything else. My self perception gone right down the drain yet again. the funny thing is this only seems to happen when I am at home. I am so glad I booked tickets to portugal, so glad I'm going away for a month. I know one thing, when I go back to uni for my second year, I'm barely going to visit at all.
        Ahh and now we're back on to uni, fun times, I've been going out with a guy for about 3 months now, and for three months he shows me barely any affection, for two months he acted like he wasn't even going out with me, only showing any attention to me if we were on our own, and ignoring me like I didn't even exist in public. The worst one, the one that made me feel really hurt was when I was over at my friends house, who ofcourse would know and did know when I was going out with someone, everytime she left the room he would be all over me, grabbing my hand and holding it, but the minute she walked back into the room he would lean as far away from me as possible, chucking my hand away as if it was a piece of shit. I felt like he was ashamed with me, in the worst possible way. but ofcourse I carried on going out with him, due to the fact I felt like no one else wanted me, i'd be alone. The worst thing was, a friend, well a recent friend who I'd only made a few months ago kept talking to me, being the niave being I am I thought he liked me as a friend, nothing more, but I just kept pushing him away, I doubt he likes me now, I don't know. But I wish I could go back in time and change things. Especially when I've seen how bad my current boyfriend can be. I think the only reason he even shows me any attention now is because he got caught. I went out to a nightclub with a friend, when we arrived barely anyone was there as we got there quite early, except there were two other people there, two girls. I chatted away to them, got to know them, became friends with them too. When one felt a bit ill later on in the night we went to the roof terrace to get some air, only when we got to the top she ran off after looking inside. Me and the other girl followed, finding her in the toilet where she was saying about how she saw a guy up there and it hurt her, this guy who had been going out with her for two months and then dumped her, saying he liked her, but liked someone else better. She went on about how he was going out with her and someone else at the same time. Turned out its the guy I'm going out with. Perhaps I should feel special that he liked me more, but then again, he was a dickhead for that. Now he's giving me the cold shoulder, he won't talk to me unless I start the conversation, even then he will barely talk. He's always talking to some american girl he met online, apparently this stranger is more important to him that me, his girlfriend. Now this girl has split up with her boyfriend and is constantly putting things on her tumblr, all like " I wish I could be with you" and "why do you have to be so far away" maybe I'm just paranoid, I have no idea. now my only problem is is it too wrong to split up with someone over skype? its cowardly, yes, but if I don't I will be with him until september, when we return. I can't deal with that, in a relationship where I seem like nothing.

this is such a ranty, depressing first post, I know, and i apologise. The future ones will be better though, I promise! Especially my next one, which ofcourse I will be posting today, of mine and my friends journey to London and the Doctor Who experience. I'm not an emo, I promise!
Current Location: United Kingdom,
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Its the end of the world as we know it - R.E.M.